Back to School 2011

So my monkeys went back to school today. Fourth grade and Kindergarten! Woohoo! Sniff sniff :( Woohoo!?

Yeah, Momma's having mixed emotions. I'm thinking something is wrong with me because you see, I've honestly never been too terribly sad (? emotional ?) about the first day of school. Even though I'm typically quite an emotional gal. Like, I wear waterproof mascara because I tear up at least once a day. Sometimes for no reason at all. Maybe I need professional help... hmmm... Anyhoo, I sincerely hadn't ever felt a tiny pang of sadness about the first day back. Maybe this is why: You see, I'd been a stay-at-home Momma since the oldest monkey came along 9 years ago and when she started pre-school 3 days a week, at 3 years old, I was pregnant with our other monkey. So, perhaps, Momma was a little tired and looking forward to the few hours break it provided, plus, she was SO excited to be a Big Girl and go to school that I really didn't need to be sad, I was actually happy, selfishly maybe a tad, but happy that she was happy, ya know?

Fast forward to the little monkey starting school and it was actually a serious necessity for Momma's sanity. We were in the midst of a situation (more on that at another time, maybe) and I was single parenting. She was two. I needed a few hours of peace and heeded the advice of trusted friends, so she went to Kid's Day Out. 4 hours a day, 3 days a week. And, she loved it. Sigh.

Both my monkeys have thoroughly loved going to school. They don't beg to sleep in, stay home and watch cartoons. Oh no. They want to be out in the world! Being busy! Learning! Moving around! Strutting.their.stuff! They've made it easy for me to not be sad to see them go. However, this year, there has been a huge lump in my throat.

I had a taste of going to work full time this past December. I was scared, yet excited, to get back out there so to speak. I loved that I accomplished something everyday that wasn't completely about children. I got to use my adult brain and it felt fabulous!! I looked forward to coming home after being gone all day and all that jazz. But I did miss my babies.

Then, I had the opportunity to stay home over the summer (more on that at another time too), and I've.never.been.happier. Could it be the absence made my heart grow fonder? I'm thinkin probably so. I'm thinkin I appreciate these days with my monkeys more than I ever had before. I have the choice to return to work in a few months, and I keep going over the pros and cons... Only to keep coming back to the fact that these sweet girls of mine keep getting bigger and bigger. They're not slowin down. At all. And I don't want to miss another minute. I want to be home for them, while they're little enough to need me and/or want me. Cause I know it won't last forever. Sniff sniff :(

So my bank account may not be growing, but I'll work on that later.

For now I'm gonna be a cookie-baking, milk-pouring, (DIY project-doing!), stay-at-home Mom. It's what I/we need. For now :)